you learn

when you meet a woman
who hates her body
and her self, don't feel that you have to give her love
or pity.
instead you should give
her time.

it is difficult to love your body,
riddled with imperfections petrified
pock-marked callousness.
it takes a long time to love your body.
it takes a lot of waiting.
to learn that your body is not
the enemy.
in fact, it is the only certainty that you have.
but that takes a lot of pain, and patience,
to learn.

loving your self is even more difficult.
it requires desperation,
an unrecognizable will
to love.
it may take a lifetime, maybe longer,
because you need to forget
the things you are,
and are not,
forget too, yourself
you have to
scour away the self hatred
that has cunningly made itself
shadow of your soul.

and just as soon as you learn,
you may very well forget.
and then you'd need to
learn it all over again.

but you learn.

my body

suốt cả đời tôi với âm hộ chưa từng nhìn mặt nhau. hôm nay tôi cố vạch để nhìn rõ bộ mặt nó, nhăn nheo và méo mó. nó làm tôi muốn khóc. hình như nó cũng muốn khóc theo tôi.

++++++

on hot summer days, my body gives
a smell, pungent and sweet and
earthy, like fresh composting tomatoes.
i've learned to like the smell
and love my body for it.

++++++

i like my body best laying down.
it's beautiful and agreeable
all around. i am spread
across the greatest surface area,
and i am happy with myself.

when i stand, my body slouches, it spins the room
breathless, directions are directionless as it drags me
from one task to another
guided by muscle memory.
i am not there. i have no will.
i do as my body does,
standing.

so when i feel rebellious,
i lay my body down
and sleep myself
to death.

++++++

sao bạn lại run như thế kia?

our bodies