for my brother

i saw the lights, and  i knew.
the day had been so heavy,
maybe it too, knew
that they've worn you down,
worked their voices into a cloud
and stormed
you.  brother, you are brave.  you let them
grow large, they get loud, while you plan your freedom
with death because it's
all that's left
to do,
dead is not as scary
as not living, you said.
and you were right.
but, what has death won you, brother?
the world is flat now,
no more rain-
that's the story your eyes tell.
there's nothing from it that you want,
nothing from you to give it,
the world is flat,
and you, fish in the sand,
is it worth it, brother? that gamble
where you dared death,
for this?
this that cannot be living, though
they call it life.