Wednesday, January 27, 2010

i fought a war because i was bored

I wish I could have some wine! I want to get drunk,
not from beer, cheap alcohol burns your throat and
bloats your bladder. Today I slept too much so now I
cannot. The red flowers outside my windows are
annoying. They poke at the glass, trying to peer in
at me, damn nosy busy bodies. With my swords I will
cut you down, eternal enemies of worms!! ...Hmm...I
could just pull down the shades... But, no! These
wretched blazes of red! They will break through the
shades, and inside they will multiply! I
know their kind! A sword! A sword! My kingdom for a
sword! I know, I will burn them! Ha! A cigarette
then. A cigarette! A cigarette! My kingdom for a
cigarette! Ha! I just killed a mosquito. Take that!
Informant sent by evil flowering forces to spy on me. This
calls for immediate drastic action: my army of
mold, growing in my juice cup! Mobilize my
flotilla of kitchen sink bacillus! I'll build my
crumpled paper fort; send my armies flying on
stain-armored dishes! Take that mosquito! Take that
red flowers! In the end, I will win this war. Peace
in my house will reign again!

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